After gulping pain relievers I step into the shower. Water gives hope. I believe the hours will pass quickly, and I’ll be back here turning off the water, feeling fresh. I’ll climb the ladder to the bedroom. I dream of where I just came from. Life pulls in different directions.
And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
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