And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
Head on a pillow and clothes on the floor I sweat and shiver, something is wrong. I want someone to call, to come save me, but the woman who used to won’t and the one that will is too far away. This is my future, drool going cold on the sheets, muscles stiffening. I pass out hoping I wake up. I need to make things right.
real love sees no distinction between self and other.
ReplyDelete....now i kind of hate myself for saying that. lol.
ReplyDeletewell just love the stars or a squirrel or something and bingo. there goes your self loathing.
Deleteself-loathing is a form of love.
Delete'If you have chosen love, then you have chosen hate. The other is intrinsic in it; it is hidden there. And one who chooses love will suffer, because then he will hate - and when he comes to hate he will suffer. Do not choose, be in the middle.'
ReplyDelete'When mind ceases, then a different love happens. But that love has no opposite to it. When mind ceases, really, whatsoever happens has no opposite to it.'
ReplyDeletei keep coming back to these.
Delete