I perform my rituals. I end up at my desk. Sitting here feels correct. Like every step I took was getting me here. The glimpses of good and the heaps of bad. Drinking them down was necessary. If not, for what? They molded me. They placed me in this chair. Typing is a welcome penance for the past.
And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
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