I practice French. The coffee brews. As my computer stares I roll a joint. Sitting here, thick smoke filling the apartment, I feel like the world is coming together. From this old chair I can tackle anything. The problems arise when I step away, toward reality. That’s when I start to stumble.
And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
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