Red light bathes me. Phone on the ground I silence the alarm. Double check the time because I don’t want to believe it’s really now, but it is. Swaddled in blankets I search for my things; jeans, a t-shirt, socks. With everything in hand I ditch the warmth for another chance to feel alive. Rejoice.
And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
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