I didn’t believe in myself though. So instead of chasing a dream or settling into a family and a car and the types of payments that even thinking about make me cringe with fear I languished. Without drive or confidence I let myself sink to the bottom of the lake like the anchor my old man tossed overboard on those afternoons I was coerced into joining them and their friends. I hated every second of those days and they knew it. 

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