We kiss on the lips before I leave. They’re soft and so is her smile as she shuts the door behind me. I hear her turn the lock. A sound that signals the day has begun and ended all at once. Because even though I have a key there’s no turning back now. I’ve set it in motion. I’ve given up.
And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
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