She says oh god as I slip the air horn in my back pocket. And as I open the door I’m convinced there’s a complete band set up in the stairwell. It wouldn’t be the first time. Once as the sun was rising brilliant red over the city I had to toss a Québécois folk group into the streets. A prouder moment of speaking French I’ve never experienced.
And I need all the reasons I can find not to hate myself. But it’s hard. Even the idea makes me shiver. Because I see loving myself like looking down on others. Riding around on a high horse. And I never want to think I’m better then the people I see on the street. The ones who have it rough. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones I see my own face in.
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